Resentment is like rust, it simmers under the surface and insidiously corrodes your attitude and ability to fully enjoy your relationship.
Often resentment is built of too many small hurts but sometimes there has been a huge emotional event that left you wounded. If the biggest wound is an infidelity then you are truly struggling. What right did your partner have to blow up your reality just for their own selfish reasons?
Infidelity is a breeding ground for resentment because your partner gave to someone that which had been promised to you. You had no say in the matter but your whole life is impacted by it.
Because of your partners decision you are stuck with having to second guess things. Are they where they say they are? Are they really working late? Who did they call and why? A loss of innocence has invaded the space. You are stuck wanting to trust but feeling that the ability to trust has been robbed from you.
You have a deep struggle wondering if it is even wise to ever trust your partner again. You have an daily battle inside, which fatigues you, always having to weight if its right to stay with a person who betrayed you or forgive them and give them another chance.
The amount of emotional turmoil their infidelity has brought into your life is distracting. Every insecurity that you have about yourself is triggered. Contentment and a sense of safety in the relationship have disappeared.
While it's true that relationships suffer from the blow of infidelity, they don't always end. Many, in fact most, people stay together and some even thrive after working through it.
If you need support as a Couple to weather this storm let an experienced Couples Therapist help you.
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I look forward to hearing from you.
Dona Laressa Desmond, PhD
CPC CA LMFT
Resentment from Infidelity
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